Meet Victor.
“Victor looked at the “Report” in disbelief, “Is this true? How can 28%, more than one out of four of us lawyers be depressed? I’ve always felt a little depressed, but I ignore it. No big deal. I learned that hard work and a stiff upper lip is all you need, and all will be well.”
Victor is referring to the “Report” published by the American Bar Association in 2017, “Creating a Movement To Improve Well-Being in the Legal Profession” by the National Task Force on Lawyer Well-Being. I was honored to be a peer reviewer for this report.
Victor continued, “The problem is, I have a good life. I have a devoted wife, kids in college, and a good law practice. Of course, there are ups and downs like anyone. But many mornings, I wake up dreading the thought of facing another day. I don’t want anyone to know, especially my wife, that my anti-depressants are not doing the job.”
I could tell Victor was uncomfortable with our conversation. “Victor, your confidentiality is safe with me,” I said.
A study by Johns Hopkins University revealed that out of 100 professional fields, attorneys lead the nation with the highest incidence of depression.
Depression doesn’t just go away; it gets worse over time. I’ve found that most high-powered attorneys suffering from depression conceal or ignore it by burying themselves into a workhorse cycle and believing that eventually, it will go away.
I have worked with hundreds of lawyers over the past two decades, and during this time, I’ve found that well over half of them are operating in a depressed state and many are clinically depressed.
Since Victor seemed a little agitated while talking about his situation with me, I decided to put him at ease by telling him my story.
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“Victor,” I shook my head, “As a person who was born depressed, I personally know depression can be overcome. Although I was a high achiever, sometimes, I felt crippled by my depression. Sometimes I felt like I had a bag or a veil over my head. I was trapped deep inside my head, and I could not get out.
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The loud voices that screamed at me day in and day out became unbearable until I had to do something about it. I was tired of waking up each morning as if in the movie starring Bill Murray, “Groundhog Day,” dreading another day. I am happy to say I beat it, and happily, I have assisted hundreds of lawyers also to overcome it.”
I continued, “Like any chronic ailment, diabetes or high blood pressure once you admit that you have it, you can treat it, and although it never completely goes away, it is no longer a problem.
Because for many of us, it’s not just our physiology that causes our depression, the pills are not enough.”
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For lawyers, one thing that I believe perpetuates depression is the profession’s high standards of invincibility, high achievement, code of ethics. You are a selfless profession, serving others, and facing demanding schedules and challenging clients. There is an unspoken badge of honor that a good lawyer is not to show any weakness, not even to ourselves. Depression, anxiety, or panic attacks make an attorney think that they are doing something wrong. Having this attitude about one’s mental health can be dangerous.
The truth is that depression is not anyone’s fault. We are all human. There is no reason to be ashamed.
If you are committed to reaching the next stage of your law practice, build your business, improve your family life, have a better relationship with your children, and make more money, you’ll need to beat depression first.
Five Questions to Ask Yourself
The first question is, are you depressed? Here are five questions to ask yourself.
1. Do you feel constant stress or anxiety?
2. When you think about work or going into the office, do you feel unease, nervousness, or foreboding?
3. Do you feel hopeless in your professional career or family life?
4. Do you suffer from continuous headaches, migraines?
5. Are you always distrustful or skeptical?
If you answered yes, to one or more of the above questions, then continue reading. The full questionnaire is below.
One attorney told me, “Pamela, I don’t think I have ever truly experienced peace or contentment.”
The American Psychological Association found that lawyers are almost four times more likely to suffer from depression than non-lawyers. The American Bar Association has, in recent years, added a “mental health” component to mandatory legal continuing education.
You Are Not Alone
For many attorneys, the first hurdle is also the most difficult. One must admit it. I have probably heard it all:
“But Pamela, I have a reputation to protect. I can’t admit to any weaknesses. I am a type-A perfectionist. I am a high-profile lawyer and extremely successful. How can I be depressed?
My depression doesn’t affect my work. Nobody knows about it.”
Don’t Ignore Your Depression It Won’t Just Go Away
I received a call from a lawyer I’ll call Ned. He lived in a luxury condominium in Marina Del Rey, California, where I attended a party. It was indeed the residential home for the rich and famous. Nevertheless, one of my attorney clients referred him to me.
Ned introduced himself to me and said, “I hope you can help me. My friend spoke highly of you. I have gone to therapists, psychiatrist; I’m taking tranquilizers, but I cannot stop thinking thoughts that scare me. I don’t want to harm myself.”
It took us no time to get to the crux of Ned’s problem. After 90 days, Ned had his life back, his enthusiasm, and later, he referred me to three of his friends. Had Ned not continued to seek help for his depression, even if it were non-traditional, it could have resulted in disaster for him and his family.
Take Your Mental Health Seriously
Just because you may look normal, healthy, and vigorous on the outside, does not mean you don’t suffer from this serious illness. Science admits that mental disorders can be as painful and as detrimental to patients as physical ailments. I can confirm this from my own personal experience.
You can BEAT depression. I declare this from not only a professional standpoint but from personal experience. Only you can make the first step to help yourself out of this pit of despair. You must admit to yourself if you are depressed. And you must always remain vigilant for the onset of any of the symptoms discussed above.
Everyone must become thoroughly honest and search his or her own heart. Unfortunately, some of you reading this will be so committed to your vanity that you would rather die than admit that you have a problem. Sadly, many have lost their battle with depression for this very reason.
Each person must decide to let go of his or her pride to solve a destructive cycle that, untreated, can only get worse with time. Depression interferes with your health, your job functions, your immune system, your family, and personal relationships and destroys any hope of happiness and contentment. There is an answer to depression, and we will find it together as we continue this discussion.
- Do you feel guilty, useless, or apathetic?
- Are you lethargic with a lack of energy?
- Do you suffer from sleeplessness or sleep too much?
- Have you lost interest in recreation or sexual intimacy?
- Do you experience loss of memory?
- Is it difficult to make decisions?
- Do you have frequent thoughts of suicide?
- Do engage in stressful overeating or loss of appetite?
- Are you abusing alcohol or prescription or other drugs?
- Do you find yourself in constant disagreements?
- Do you feel as if everyone takes you for granted?
- Do you crave isolation and want to be left alone?
- Are you subject to uncontrollable anger & rage binges?
- Do you exhibit Workaholic behaviors?
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you do not want to ignore them any longer. It is time to take action.
Procrastination is Your Worst Enemy.
Too many attorneys say I will take action tomorrow, and unfortunately, tomorrow never comes. The time is now. If you think you are suffering from depression, don’t suffer alone. ◆
